I’m sure if I asked any of my friends “What would you change about yourself” I’d get a laundry list.
My list would be comparable to a CVS receipt.
But today, I’m going to focus on one thing that adds to my anxiety. It’s something that is not based on my thoughts, but actions. With a little motivation, I’m hoping that in the second half of my life, I can make a 180.
hello. my name is Missy, and disbih is a fucking slob.
Ok, not a fucking slob but I have that obsessive (not the good kind) ADHD shit that goes on in my head. I start to clean the kitchen and then notice laundry piling up, while putting laundry away I notice a drawer that needs organizing. I go on Amazon and order a million organization tools which don’t fit said drawer and get added to one of the many piles of collective crap that I have acquired. A week after my drawer is complete, it’s trashed.
Enter any room in my house and there is a pile of something. I can barely set my coffee down on my nightstand in fear of knocking over unopened mail, nail polish remover, and various non-essentials. I look up at my tv and the wall-length dresser is covered with various ADHD artifacts. Each week I hang a kitchen-sized trash bag off my bathroom door to toss shit in there, yet the piles grow deeper.
There is nothing zen about my living space. Even our housekeeper (who frequently avoids us if it’s been longer than a week) says “You have such a beautiful home, you need to take care of it”.
I firmly believe that decluttering my home will help declutter my mind. It’s incredibly unsettling. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety.
So what do people do? Stay up all night, every night, and clean? Do y’all like to make schedules? Monday – kitchen. Tuesday’s – bathrooms. Is there a daily check off list? My first instinct is to buy more organizational tools and cleaning supplies… oh the effort.
disbih wants her home to look like a sterile institution. not kidding.