RVs, Ryan Gosling, and Menopiss: A Bedtime Story

The RV Fantasy That Started It All

Last night, right before bed, my husband and I seriously entertained the idea of selling everything, renting out our house, and hitting the open road in an RV.

I’m obsessed with those cozy RV makeover videos—you know the ones. A little subway tile, a macramé plant, maybe a salt lamp—and bam, mobile nirvana. Every time I see one I think: I could totally do this.

But reality kicked in when we remembered we’d need, oh I don’t know, an income stream… and, well, an actual RV. Dammit.

Enter: The 4:28 A.M. Menopiss

I went to bed still daydreaming about life on the road. But somewhere between my 4:28 a.m. menopiss and my husband’s snore solo (aka Mr. Snoreapofocus), the daydream derailed. I numbed myself with Candy Crush until sleep dragged me under again.

Ryan Gosling, Train Cars, and Pantless Chaos

And then the dream started.

Suddenly, we had the RV. My husband and I drove for 10 hours before pulling off in the Midwest. Camp set, dinner eaten, bliss achieved.

Until it wasn’t.

Next thing I knew, I was on an old-fashioned train in a corset (because, obviously), reading the paper when Ryan Gosling sat beside me. Denim, white tee, paperboy hat—the man was a Pinterest board.

Seconds later, it was a deleted scene from The Notebook. Train cars. Passion. Tippy toes. Then, like all men in a crisis, he got caught, pulled up his pants… and took mine with him.

Which left me pantless. On a moving train. In the Midwest. In winter. With my bush blowing in the breeze.

Waking Up Pantless (Sort Of)

I woke up in a puddle of sweat, husband snoring beside me, another menopiss calling my name.

So yeah. Don’t analyze this. Just send a fan, a map of the Midwest, and if you see Ryan Gosling wandering around with a pair of high-waisted linen trousers… tell him I want them back.

xoMS